Something To Fight For

Have you ever felt that in order to keep living, you have to perpetually find something to fight for?

When I was in Primary School, i fought for my freedom. In Secondary School, while still fighting for my freedom, I fought for the things I loved. On the volleyball courts I fought, as a libero, to make sure no ball hits the ground in my turf, no matter how hard the spike was. On stage I fought to satisfy the audience and to convey the message of the scriptwriter (or director lah). Off stage I fought to make sure no one interfered in my love for and involvement in all these things. I fought so hard to love someone. That was once upon a time.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if my country was at war. I imagine myself enlisted to serve in every war that is fought. It wouldn't matter that I don't believe in what my country is fighting for. The point is that my country is fighting a war and I have to be a part of it. To be in a foreign land fighting for a cause. Going to sleep at night with no knowledge of where and how I might wake up or if I might wake up at all. To know that if God gave me one more day to live, I'd have to live my life to the fullest because he might just take me away anytime.

It might be said that it is all a matter of perception. That we could live each day as if it were our last even in a place as peaceful as ours. That we don't have stare death straight in the eye to appreciate the luxury of living. But we're human beings. Hand us things on a silver platter and chances are we aren't going to give a damn about it. It is only when food is unavailable that we value what we have to eat. It is only when we're incarcerated that we know how harsh it is to lose our freedom. It is only when we lose our soul that we realize how it is like to be nothing more than a living corpse.

So let's all search for something to fight for. It could be the love for music. It could be the senseless belief that love conquers all. It could be an idealistic passion. But then again, most of us already have something we never stop fighting for: the desire for material wealth at the expense of all other pastimes and pursuits. Give up a chance to make a million dollars just to sit and listen to the sounds of the sea that you truly love.. What are you, stupid?