The Child Within

“If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now.
There’s just too many places I’ve got to see.”
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As a student I pass through each day thinking of where my studies might take me.

Would I end up as a worker bee in a colony of dissatisfied drones who have let themselves be descended way too deep into the hive to be shown a way out?

Would I complete my National Service, go to the University, come out with an average or above average degree, carry balls for the next five years and retire after ten to enjoy the rest of my life smoking cigars to my death?

Or would I end up on the streets begging for food as a monk having renounced all worldly desires and material wants.

As a student I find no logical explaination to what I feel about my future. To me, the future is now. Perhaps the phrase is a little to cliche for my liking but it makes sense. Remember those times in Primary School when you'd think "If only I could be like those Secondary School boys. They're so matured;" only to realize that that innate child-like feeling remained in you throughout secondary school life and beyond.

The truth is that we are all children of the world. Yet another cliche that makes sense. In the blink of an eye, my teenage years have come to pass. In just under 4 months my age will begin with the digit '2' and in another blink of an eye, it will begin with the digit '5'. Yet, I still feel like a child at times. I wish I could cuddle in my bed and cry myself to sleep only to know that my mother will wake me up the next morning and make me realize that the world has spun another half-round upon its axis: tomorrow has come.

Some people suppress the child in them. Some people grow up too fast and tell themselves that they cannot live their lives the way they used to. They tell themselves that they have to begin living like grown-ups do: to be disciplined in their work, to always be punctual, to never give up no matter how hard the going gets. I salute all those people who have chosen to live their lives that way and have actually succeeded. But if my humble observation serves me correctly, many people who have achieved success in that respect have also succeeded in another unfortunate aspect: turning a deaf ear to the dreams of the child within them.

The child in me has never given up. As I filter myself into the fast lane leading up to adulthood, I now make a conscious decision to never shut that child in me out. Whenever someone asks me what my ambition is, I will tell them that I want to be a singer, a musician, an actor, a performer. When someone asks me "Why on earth would you want to do that,” I will tell them that it is my childhood dream and that I am determined not to disappoint that child in me.

I would then ask that person, "What has the child in you been trying to say to you?"
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"Everyday is an endless stream of cigarettes and magazines.
And each town looks the same to me: the movies and the factories.
And every stranger's face reminds me that I long to be...
Homeward bound."