Ronin was formed somewhere in 2002 or thereabout and I've always thought that if there was going to be a local band that would succeed, Ronin would be it. Not that they were the best band around or that I particularly liked them but their music just stood out from the rest. At a time where the Alternative Rock scene was slowly morphing itself into the oh-so-big (or maybe not-so-big) genre that we call 'Indie' today and Electrico was getting all the media attention, Ronin was quietly making their music behind the scenes. They finally released an album in 2005. How the sales turned out nobody really knows but it was good to hear a local band getting some airtime on local radio.
To people who know Ronin, they would probably tell you that the frontman, Levan Wee, was what drove their music forward. A wild looking albino who wores shades at any time of day (or night) was probably among the wildest singers you would ever see around here. Levan would rip his shirt off, he'd lie on the floor and gyrate in a way that I'd never seen before, even on videos. He would use vulgarities over the PA system after agreeing with the organizers simply because that was who he was. And then he'd innocently apologise to the disgruntled organizers after the show. That was what he showed his fans at the time.
I thought of Levan as a crazy guy. At some point I even found him an extremist, a posseur. I definitely saluted him as someone with intestinal fortitude because growing up in a society like ours, going against conformity is not as easy as we often think it is. But there was just something about Levan that never held well with me. Maybe it was the way he never made eye contact with the audience; maybe it was the way he spoke in a funny way (pls forgive me if he's got some kind of speech deficiency that I don't know about); maybe it was the way he gave me the impression that he didn't want to be approached. The list goes on.
Now with my weird mix of like and dislike for the guy, let's talk about the recent split. I am nobody to judge or even comment on his or his band's decision to part ways. Being in a band is a great commitment and there are many things that could happen. We don't know all that so it's not fair to say anything about it. But I would like to say something about is Levan's attitude at their final gig together.
Levan evaded the cameras from STOMP and while his former band were sporting enough to talk about the split, he wasn't. From the videos that are available on Stompcast, I would think that even the greatest fan of Ronin would have been utterly disgusted by their frontman. One would think that a last gig would invoke feelings of nostalgia, especially in a frontman. That certainly didn't happen for Levan. While talking to the audience between songs and thanking them for their support over the years in a totally insincere fashion, he let out sniggers and sounds that gave away his unhappiness. just before singing Black Maria, he said,"This song doesn't mean a thing.". Maybe he never realized that this was Ronin's no.1 track on the airwaves for some time. Or maybe he never realized that what he said could translate to Ronin's fans as "You suckers. Thanks for your support. We could have done without you. You thought that Ronin was so full of meaning? Well like I said you're suckers. Our songs don't mean a thing. It's bullshit. Thanks for subscribing to crap. Now we're done."
If that's what he meant, then he's wrong. Ronin did make some good music. In terms of style they were probably a classic rock/hard rock group, seething with an 80s aroma. Some songs had pretty applaudable lyrics as well. My particular favourite was 'Crazy Son', a slow ballad that every musician could relate to. Black Maria, in my opinion, betrayed Ronin's style a little, deviating from the feel of Crazy Son and Revoluion (which, incidentally, doesn't exactly suit Singapore's society but kudos to the good music).
Musicians would swear upon their mums that it isn't true and non-musicians probably wouldn't even care, but in the 5 years or so that Ronin were in the scene, they contributed a huge deal to local music. Who would have thought that a group of students would be able to pull the business a band off. Who would have thought that we'd be hearing songs by a local artist on the radio again (since Angel Of The Night by the Lovehunters abt 12yrs ago)? Ronin did it.
But who would have thought that one day Levan Wee would be living it up like a star and ending the life of Ronin with a rude whimper? Even I certainly didn't expect that.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
You wait... I wait for nothing..
I don't think there's any word in the entire world that is more vulgar than the four letter word. Not the F word but the W word. W-a-i-t.
I fear waiting. More than the shoulder to shoulder, ass to ass rush hour crowds, I fear waiting for a bus to come. Or a train for that matter. There is nothing to do when waiting. I just.... wait. But the harsh fact of reality is, my life is filled with waiting. A trip to Borders to get that book I always wanted requires me to stand in line to wait for my turn to pay. When my turn finally comes, the barcode label on my book is faulty so the cashier says, "One moment, sir," which we all know is just a polite substitute for the vile four letter word. While I do wait for the cashier to come back, there is nothing left to do other than to pretend that those awkward stares from behind do not exist and that the cashier at the adjacent counter isn't sniggering at yet another stupid customer who's incapable of making sure a barcode label is in order before taking a book to the counter. Wait.
I hear the call to be an ambitious young man and to fight for what I want in life every day, perhaps even every minute. But fighting isn't a Spartan thing anymore where i can just go to the battlefield, slog it out and either emerge victorious or not emerge at all. Fighting means setting my goals, planning how I am going to achieve those goals before i sit back in that warm seat of mine and...? W-A-I-T. Wait for this part of my education to be over. Wait for the figure that people call my age to crawl just slightly higher before I'm eligible to register for a course. There is nothing to do but wait.
But life's bigger than just queues and ambitions. I have at some point in my teenage years been told that there is someone out there with whom I'm destined to enjoy the rest of my life with.
"So I'll go find her.."
"Nah.. you can't go out looking for love. you've got to wait for it to come to you."
"But I don't want to wait. If she's out there and we're meant to be, I'll find her won't I?"
"You've got to be patient. Stay still and one day you will find each other. And when you do, oh.. that would be the day when fire feels cool and snow turns warm in your hands. You'll just know it."
So I wait. Dawn turns to dusk and dusk turns to dawn again and again and again. And still, I wait. there is nothing else to do but wait. But waiting can be dangerous. If you wait too much, your whole life will soon be filled with waiting. Have you ever sat on a bench waiting for someone to pick you up from school at 2 pm sharp, but at 3.30 pm he's still not there? Every car that passes brings with it a glimmer of hope that will only pass by. Soon that glimmer fades and you only turn your gaze to cars that share the same colour as the one supposed to pick you. And soon, even that new hopeful shine pales in comparison to the solace that you have found in waiting.
Waiting is the anticipation of a hope being fulfilled. It is sad that those who wait eagerly for their desires don't realize that once they stop waiting, they stop hoping simply because there is nothing else to hope for. It is the same reason why vampires can never have dreams. The poor immortal beings will always fulfil their dreams no matter how long it takes and soon they have nothing else to dream for. A life without hopes and dreams is a life not worth living. For what drives a human being's humanity is the desire for unattainable things.
So tommorow again I will wait for the water to heat up before I take my shower. I will wait for the train to come before I get on it. I will wait for the day to end before I get off work. I wait for the perfect one to find where I am and turn my night into day. I wait for my life to end knowing that within my corpse is a heart filled with bitter wants and unsatisfied needs that helped me go on living life when I was alive. Or just maybe the same heart that pumps litres of blood through my body and never waits to let time pass is already dead.
I fear waiting. More than the shoulder to shoulder, ass to ass rush hour crowds, I fear waiting for a bus to come. Or a train for that matter. There is nothing to do when waiting. I just.... wait. But the harsh fact of reality is, my life is filled with waiting. A trip to Borders to get that book I always wanted requires me to stand in line to wait for my turn to pay. When my turn finally comes, the barcode label on my book is faulty so the cashier says, "One moment, sir," which we all know is just a polite substitute for the vile four letter word. While I do wait for the cashier to come back, there is nothing left to do other than to pretend that those awkward stares from behind do not exist and that the cashier at the adjacent counter isn't sniggering at yet another stupid customer who's incapable of making sure a barcode label is in order before taking a book to the counter. Wait.
I hear the call to be an ambitious young man and to fight for what I want in life every day, perhaps even every minute. But fighting isn't a Spartan thing anymore where i can just go to the battlefield, slog it out and either emerge victorious or not emerge at all. Fighting means setting my goals, planning how I am going to achieve those goals before i sit back in that warm seat of mine and...? W-A-I-T. Wait for this part of my education to be over. Wait for the figure that people call my age to crawl just slightly higher before I'm eligible to register for a course. There is nothing to do but wait.
But life's bigger than just queues and ambitions. I have at some point in my teenage years been told that there is someone out there with whom I'm destined to enjoy the rest of my life with.
"So I'll go find her.."
"Nah.. you can't go out looking for love. you've got to wait for it to come to you."
"But I don't want to wait. If she's out there and we're meant to be, I'll find her won't I?"
"You've got to be patient. Stay still and one day you will find each other. And when you do, oh.. that would be the day when fire feels cool and snow turns warm in your hands. You'll just know it."
So I wait. Dawn turns to dusk and dusk turns to dawn again and again and again. And still, I wait. there is nothing else to do but wait. But waiting can be dangerous. If you wait too much, your whole life will soon be filled with waiting. Have you ever sat on a bench waiting for someone to pick you up from school at 2 pm sharp, but at 3.30 pm he's still not there? Every car that passes brings with it a glimmer of hope that will only pass by. Soon that glimmer fades and you only turn your gaze to cars that share the same colour as the one supposed to pick you. And soon, even that new hopeful shine pales in comparison to the solace that you have found in waiting.
Waiting is the anticipation of a hope being fulfilled. It is sad that those who wait eagerly for their desires don't realize that once they stop waiting, they stop hoping simply because there is nothing else to hope for. It is the same reason why vampires can never have dreams. The poor immortal beings will always fulfil their dreams no matter how long it takes and soon they have nothing else to dream for. A life without hopes and dreams is a life not worth living. For what drives a human being's humanity is the desire for unattainable things.
So tommorow again I will wait for the water to heat up before I take my shower. I will wait for the train to come before I get on it. I will wait for the day to end before I get off work. I wait for the perfect one to find where I am and turn my night into day. I wait for my life to end knowing that within my corpse is a heart filled with bitter wants and unsatisfied needs that helped me go on living life when I was alive. Or just maybe the same heart that pumps litres of blood through my body and never waits to let time pass is already dead.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
The Need To Know
As I countdown the days to going back to school, I can only sit back in my room in front of my humongous TV screen and watch as many shows as I can. TV serials need absolutely no introduction. I've been hooked to a couple of really popular shows like "The OC", "One Tree Hill" and "Prison Break" recently. This, together with my Jap-drama DVDs and you'll know that I have a year's worth of watching right here in my bedroom. Sometimes TV can be an even more potent drug than morphine or cocaine but they all do one thing: mess up your mind.
Any TV junkie would understand how easy it is to start the episodes the very minute morning coffee's over with. This never used to be that much of a problem before the DVD fad and, more recently, the online TV option came about. What used to be an early morning relaxation before the daily grind has now become the daily grind itself. Just what does TV have over us?
For starters, we all love to have drama in our lives. Unfortunately for us, the drama that we fantasize about doesn't exactly match up with reality. TV offers a different dimention altogether. You KNOW that your dreams are going unfurl in front of you. You KNOW that Haley and Nathan are going to get back together (hey I'm still on Season 2 ok) but even if they don't, you KNOW that something good will come out the whole situation. We KNOW almost evrything that is going to happen but what excites us is the HOW.
In what I like to call 'scripted-reality', there are no boundaries. Or rather, the writer sets the boundaries. And like you guessed, the writer is a human being after all. What the writer isn't is a realist. Sure you've got 'realist' plays and TV's supposed to be 'realist' as well but how much of REAL LIFE is reflected in all these stories? Close to none. The jist of it might remind you of real life but in 'scripted reality', there are countless opportunities for the characters to make up for something when they've screwed up. X's father has an affair, thinks that his family is gone, but then realizes that his mother has an affair as well. Both parents, who obviously find themselves standing on level ground, make up and live happily ever after.. affiar-free.
Life doesn't offer us those opporunities, those chances. You forget to say something at your cosuin's wedding, you don't get a chance to say it again. You get your girlfriend pregnant, you're not going to have a chance to go back and put on a condom again. You hesitate to tell someone you love her, you're not going to have a chance to tell her just before she goes for her summer break (One Tree Hill). TV has all those chances. But they're not for us, they're made for the characters in the story. But we all wish our lives were like that don't we? Countless opportunities to do or say what we've always wanted to. But we don't. So we watch...
Any TV junkie would understand how easy it is to start the episodes the very minute morning coffee's over with. This never used to be that much of a problem before the DVD fad and, more recently, the online TV option came about. What used to be an early morning relaxation before the daily grind has now become the daily grind itself. Just what does TV have over us?
For starters, we all love to have drama in our lives. Unfortunately for us, the drama that we fantasize about doesn't exactly match up with reality. TV offers a different dimention altogether. You KNOW that your dreams are going unfurl in front of you. You KNOW that Haley and Nathan are going to get back together (hey I'm still on Season 2 ok) but even if they don't, you KNOW that something good will come out the whole situation. We KNOW almost evrything that is going to happen but what excites us is the HOW.
In what I like to call 'scripted-reality', there are no boundaries. Or rather, the writer sets the boundaries. And like you guessed, the writer is a human being after all. What the writer isn't is a realist. Sure you've got 'realist' plays and TV's supposed to be 'realist' as well but how much of REAL LIFE is reflected in all these stories? Close to none. The jist of it might remind you of real life but in 'scripted reality', there are countless opportunities for the characters to make up for something when they've screwed up. X's father has an affair, thinks that his family is gone, but then realizes that his mother has an affair as well. Both parents, who obviously find themselves standing on level ground, make up and live happily ever after.. affiar-free.
Life doesn't offer us those opporunities, those chances. You forget to say something at your cosuin's wedding, you don't get a chance to say it again. You get your girlfriend pregnant, you're not going to have a chance to go back and put on a condom again. You hesitate to tell someone you love her, you're not going to have a chance to tell her just before she goes for her summer break (One Tree Hill). TV has all those chances. But they're not for us, they're made for the characters in the story. But we all wish our lives were like that don't we? Countless opportunities to do or say what we've always wanted to. But we don't. So we watch...
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Finally, a blog!
So there's always this thing about keping up with the times. I guess its just about time that I should create ablog. Having resisted the idea for more than two years while all my peers set up their own outlet for expression, maybe it really is time.
Well I've been free for close to a year now and the freedom I've always wanted feels great. But our world being a not-so-perfect one also means that freedom can sometimes equate to lonliness. And of course, that's a great thing cause at least its an indication of my humanity.
Since this is a first blog entry I guess its courteous that I give a short update to what's been going on in my life off late.
This year has started off as a great year with me finally visiting my dream destination: Japan. Another reason that makes 2007 great is that I've started music lessons with a teacher I feel rather comfortable with and I just hope and pray that I can stay with her for as long as possible.
My best friend's just returned from the U.S. after a 3 month stay and we now share dreams we never thought would be common between us. Of course there is a downside to his stay over there.. due to how easily I'm assimilated into the activities ofthe people around me, I find myself doing one out of two things in my free time: Baseball OR Skateboarding. Again, these are two things NEITHER of us thought we'd ever do.
I'm rediscovering literature, with a focus on Japanese literature. This was brought on by the fact that I'm rehearsing for a play written by the infamous Mishima Yukio. The man staged a coup at the Japanese Self Defence Force Headquarters and when it turned out ot be a flop, commited sepuku or ritual suicide at the same place. His works are as fine as they can get without being explicit.
I've secured a place for my internship at Mallal & Namazie so I don't have to worry about that for a while. School this term hasn't been really good so I'm hoping that when I go back next week, things will somehow just work out fine. But then again.. ours is an inperfect world.
That seems to be all I can and should say for now.
Well I've been free for close to a year now and the freedom I've always wanted feels great. But our world being a not-so-perfect one also means that freedom can sometimes equate to lonliness. And of course, that's a great thing cause at least its an indication of my humanity.
Since this is a first blog entry I guess its courteous that I give a short update to what's been going on in my life off late.
This year has started off as a great year with me finally visiting my dream destination: Japan. Another reason that makes 2007 great is that I've started music lessons with a teacher I feel rather comfortable with and I just hope and pray that I can stay with her for as long as possible.
My best friend's just returned from the U.S. after a 3 month stay and we now share dreams we never thought would be common between us. Of course there is a downside to his stay over there.. due to how easily I'm assimilated into the activities ofthe people around me, I find myself doing one out of two things in my free time: Baseball OR Skateboarding. Again, these are two things NEITHER of us thought we'd ever do.
I'm rediscovering literature, with a focus on Japanese literature. This was brought on by the fact that I'm rehearsing for a play written by the infamous Mishima Yukio. The man staged a coup at the Japanese Self Defence Force Headquarters and when it turned out ot be a flop, commited sepuku or ritual suicide at the same place. His works are as fine as they can get without being explicit.
I've secured a place for my internship at Mallal & Namazie so I don't have to worry about that for a while. School this term hasn't been really good so I'm hoping that when I go back next week, things will somehow just work out fine. But then again.. ours is an inperfect world.
That seems to be all I can and should say for now.
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