Another Look At Life

Human beings were born with the reflex of self-defence. It is not something which we learn but something which is innate.. it's our human nature. It manifests itself in almost everything we do in our lives, not just physically but also when faced with blame or guilt.

We all see ourselves as perfect, no matter how much we tell others that we don't believe so. Whenver we look in the mirror, we see the most beautiful being on earth. On days that we don't think so, we think that it is only for that day - perhaps because of a new pimple - which will pass and beauty will come back to the beholder again. Or sometimes our human nature takes a simpler approach just look over the pimples, past the wrinkles and beyond the Einstein-looking hair.

Though this is a very materialistic example of our pathetic human nature, there is a much deeper side to it as well and I am beginning to think that this is the reason why life gets so complicated, even when it is not.

There are thousands of situations that we come across in our daily lives where we are at fault for something but simply refuse to admit it. Admitting fault and accepting blame is not just an external expression, which can be faked easily. When I was in Secondary School and went to school with a ear-ring dangling from my lobe and got screwed for it, I accepted the punishment, and recognized that it was my fault. But what no one knew was that deep inside my heart I simply could not understand why ear-rings were not allowed. And to be very frank, 9 years on, I still carry that frustration with me.

And the frustration builds up as the number of situations we encounter increase. A cheating girlfriend is objectively in the wrong, but would she really accept that it was her fault? Or would she be thinking in her heart that it was the lack of attention from her boyfriend that forced her to cheat?

As my life keeps rolling forward with me learning more about the real world, I begin to wonder if life can get simpler from here? At every stage in my life I expected things to get more complicated but easier to deal with - "When I'm grown up I'll know how to deal better"; "When I'm grown up, I'll learn to take responsibility for my actions"; "When Ii gain more experience, I will handle situations better". But has that really been the case? That's what confuses me.

In short, I am very confused right now. I just turned 23, just started working half a year ago, and am just beginning to learn that growing up really does suck. What worries me is how much human nature can take, if human nature doesn't give.