A Weakened Cornea

I went through all my posts from the very first one to the last, including all those unpublished ones as well. I have to admit that there has been a gradual change in the content and style of my posts.

When I set up my blog, I was like a teenager deprived of sex. You see so much of it on TV, the internet, even the radio, but you just don't get enough. I was like that. There were many thoughts in my mind about many things and I didn't have a outlet through which I could vent.

This sudden depravation came about less than 4 months ago when it suddenly struck me that I saw normal daily situations in an overtly normal fashion, as the normal person does. This surprised me because when i was in Secondary School, I had the tendency to "over-think" daily occurances and draw unnecessarily complicated conclusions from them. Some of that got lost along the way I guess. So I made a conscious decision to return to a state of mind similar to that, but not nearly as psychotic.

And it worked. I felt a sudden surge of objectivity and even subjectivity that I felt was beyond me. I didn't quite see things as clearly as I did over the past few years but I enjoyed the awareness that I couldn't quie be sure about anything at all. I then used my blog to record whatever was significant enough for me to actually go through the writing process. The idea was basically to see the extraordinary in the ordinary.

A good example would be the little snippet of a girl who gave her account of her sexual growth. That post made me think from an entirely different angle and I got so involved in it that I could actually feel myself become that girl in the post. *I'm not admitting that I'm a girl though* Another one would be a very early post discussing our innate desire for drama in our lives whch leads most of us to become addicts to serial dramas.

The ponderance of why certain events happen in a certain way was a extremely enriching experience and one that has left me in an awkward limbo. In a way, i still see things in that highly sensitised fashion. I continue to make mental notes of how a certain view or event can be twisted in different ways. I still fantaize about how to craft those those into a readable post. But I now have to deal with a different problem.

They say that good food once eaten is a delicacy, twice eaten is a luxury, thrice eaten a chore. I now see how this is relevant. A chanced sight at the extraordinary in the ordinary leads to you trying to see the extraordinary in the ordinary. It eventually results in the extraordinary becoming the ordinary.